Just a phone call away

One of my closest friends is a gal that first arrived on my school bus when I was in the 8th grade and she was in 7th. Although our friendship didn't quite bloom until we were in high school, I happily count her as one of the people (outside of my family) who knows and understands me the best.

Since one of my biggest faults is the fact that I don't like calling people or really returning phone calls in general, I need friends who are similar. That being said, a friend that I can call after any length of time and be able to pick up where we left off, is the ideal mate for me. Which is exactly why my friendship with B is so perfect.

B called me this afternoon to check on me and see if I was ok since she had heard from another friend of our's that I am unhappy with my job. I basically answered the phone to hear her blurting out, "OMG, it's been too long, what is going on with your job I hear you're unhappy and I need to know everything about it."

After we caught up and chatted about work and life and being grown-ups, we hung up with promises to see one another soon. Even if I didn't spend the afternoon with her or talk to her for more than a half hour, I love her even more for calling me to find out what is going on in my life, the more negative aspect. Plus, she got it. She completely understood why I'm unhappy and encouraged me to look elsewhere to find a workplace where I'll be happier. It's nice to be thought of, considered, and appreciated for who I am. I just love friends like that!

I'll be missing you a "latte"

So I’ve made a decision. And I need you, my readers, to hold me accountable. Here goes:

I’ve just bought my last cup of coffee.

Sigh. I’ve said it. I am sitting here in Starbucks, a place I’ve found all over the world to be one of familiarity and comfort. NO MORE. I’m doing a little experiment for my wallet and not.purchasing.coffee.from.anywhere. Well, to be more specific, I won’t be purchasing a cup of coffee from a coffee shop. Rather, I will be seen buying it at the grocery store in bulk and making it for myself at home.

I realize that sometimes it’s not just one coffee purchase a day. Sometimes it’s 2...or…well, no need for a full confession here. You get the point. Travelling around like I do will make this difficult as a medium-iced-french-vanilla-with-extra-cream-and-2-splenda makes a great companion for those hour plus drives. Luckily, sometimes I get one with my corporate card to count as a “snack/refreshment” while I’m on the road. Being the lonely rep girl, I tend to use coffee as an excuse for me to be out and about wherever I find myself. And yet, I don’t need the excuse of coffee to get out, I just need ME! And my two legs. I can make a coffee at home, use those lovely “to go” cups that I buy and then march myself out my front door and go for a walk. Plus! All of the hotels I stay at either have free coffee in the lobby or coffeemakers in the room itself complete with to-go cups. So next time we hangout, unless you’re treating, this gal will be coffee purchase free. Sigh. It’s a little hard to say, even if I am just writing it.

Ironically, my biggest encouragement will come from the enemy itself. After all, it is Dunkin’ Donuts who says:

YOU ‘KIN DO IT!

Making new friends, with new faces, in new places

One of my favorite quotes that I’ve heard, well read -on the side of a Starbucks coffee cup – comes from Augusten Burroughs. I think I love it because it has been the theme of my very big changes in life. He said:

"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just have to say, "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word."

Because really? How does anyone meet anyone? I struggled with this when I moved to London and again when I moved to the Country. There MUST be someone out there who is just like me, laughs at my jokes, and who I love to spend time with. I suppose you could join a church like I have, write a note like Neighbor did and then meet friends of your new friends. Which I suppose is exactly what I’m trying to do.

On Friday night I had dinner with Neighbor and Friend, plus Friend’s GF (note previous post about Neighbor – I mention Friend there). Neighbor told me afterwards that he doesn’t know the two we dined with very well, but we still laughed and had fun. Friend’s sister came over and chatted with Friend, GF, and me. She then ended up chatting with just me and GF for a while, then she went back to her table of friends. Then yesterday when I was in line at Starbucks, in walks Friend’s sister. On my way out, I said hello to her. She remembered me (which was nice!) and we chatted for a few. Turns out she doesn’t even know Neighbor, but at least now she knows me! I don’t think we’ll become bffs, but that’s not the point really. I could at least say hello to someone in the market square that I knew and that is really exciting.

When I first moved to the Country, I spoke to a friend of mine from the City, who had moved to a midwestern city. He was from the midwest, but hadn’t lived there since before college. He asked me if I had made any friends yet. Of course I hadn’t, which I admitted. When I asked him (mind you, he had moved a year prior to this conversation) if he had, he said that he hadn’t really. And then we talked about how one makes friends, or rather, not making friends. Even Neighbor talked about how hard it is to make friends in this lovely country town that I moved to. And he's lived here for just about 6 years. I suppose pretty soon I'll have too many friends and then I'll be complaining about not having any time to myself.

I’m getting there, with each person that I see, recognize, and who recognizes me in the market square. And just think, perhaps the next person that I meet in the market square who knows me...just might be my Beloved. Saying hi is definitely worth that possibility.

Still life

I’ve decided that my favorite time of day in my new town is the early morning hours on a Saturday or Sunday. This past weekend, although still March, brought warm temperatures and daylight savings time. Early Saturday I headed out early and found the stillness and quiet downtown was so calming, it made me pause on the street to merely look around and enjoy the moment. Similarly, on Sunday morning I headed out early to grab coffee and bagels for my guests and as I rounded the corner at the town square, I was hit with the same feeling. It was slightly overcast, but a warm breeze moved through the air. And even though I couldn’t see a soul anywhere, there were signs that people had been around. Remnants of the previous evening revelries were strewn about and yet, the town never looked more beautiful or peaceful. I just wanted to stand there and keep everything as it is. If I had been in a movie, I would have stood there, while time-lapsed photography moved people, cars, and dogs around me at a fast pace while life went on. But in that moment, it was just me, standing there.

The morning reminded me of an Edward Hopper painting, which fittingly, is called "Sunday Morning." The whole downtown square is brick and rather old; quaint shops line the streets, along with little cafes, and can get very busy, especially when the weather gets warmer. And yet, in that moment, the street looked like this:

There have only been a few times in my life where I have been able to step back and truly observe the moment I’m currently living – to be an outsider looking in at my life. Even if Hopper’s paintings are considered lonely at times, I didn’t feel alone or lonely. Standing in the empty marketplace, remembering other marketplaces I have stood in while in various parts of the world, I just felt like I was at home. And home is a place where one belongs.

Snow day!

Since my last post was so long...this one will be short.

I think my favorite part of yesterday's snow storm wasn't the fact that all the colleges around me were cancelled or that I got a lot of work done or that I made this amazing shrimp pasta salad...

It was that here in the country, people wear snowpants around when it has actually been (and still is) snowing. I headed out early in the morning to shovel and get a coffee and contemplated wearing my snowpants since I have them at my apartment, but didn't. I thought I would look silly, but instead, I was the only one walking around not wearing them. And I love that about the country. Sure, people in the city had snowpants, but you never saw them. Instead, I was the oddball not wearing mine. I was sure to put them on later when I ventured out again. I'm definitely getting used to (and loving) this country lifestyle.

Won't you be my Neighbor?

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been spending time with my neighbor. After I said I wanted my apartment, the landlord immediately informed me that “the gentleman in the back apartment is about your age, has a high paying job at the shipyard, and is very good looking.” Thank you landlord.

Once I saw my Neighbor from afar and thought, “he is cute.” Well after never seeing one another, I arrived home from a trip 3 weeks ago and found a note from Neighbor with my mail. It was a cute little letter, basically asking me to give him a call whenever I was going to be around so we could grab a drink or a bite to eat, to at least know what one another looks like. The letter was just so kind and I’ve been wanting to make a friend, so I called him and the rest is history.

We’ve since dined, gone out for a drink, wandered around Barnes & Nobles together, hungout with his friends, and shared many a conversation and even had little heart-to-hearts. For some reason, I’m just completely comfortable around him and he’s so laid back, I can tell it’s mutual. I can tease him, but also be dorky and open and honest with him. He just takes it all in stride. I think my favorite part about him is that I’m not attracted to him. It certainly makes for an easier time since the whole potential-relationship-thing is not a pressure. I guess for us, this guy and girl can be friends, without the sex thing getting in the way.

And so, dear reader, I thought I would share a few of the things I like most about Neighbor.

1. He also has a sensitive sniffer. Usually I’m the odd one in my various circles. The girl who can pick a random smell out of the air (that no one else can smell), and pinpoint what that particular smell to amazing accuracy, that everyone else around just laughs but can be quite astounded. I’m glad to finally meet someone with this same ability, it makes for some interesting conversation:
Neighbor: (while sniffing the air) “It smells like wok in here”
City Mouse: (also sniffs air) “I don’t smell it”
N: “Well, don’t you know what a seasoned wok smells like?”
CM: “Yes, it smells like when you turn on the oven cleaner.”
N: “No it doesn’t. You would know the smell if you’ve ever seasoned a wok.”
CM: “Well, I’ve been around one that is being seasoned and think it smells like an oven that’s being cleaned.”
N: “Fine. We’ll leave it at that then.”
And I’d like to point out that when we were leaving the restaurant, I mentioned how it smelled like kerosene, which he promptly said no, it smells like gas stove. Sigh. I do love a good smell debate.

2. He’s got ‘good people.’ Last night I went out with his friends who are on his dodgeball team. I asked him what I should wear, who was going, what the bar was like, etc etc. Neighbor answered all of my questions patiently and when I mentioned that I get nervous in those types of situations, he told me not to worry. He said, “Knowing you – you’ll just find one person that you can chat with and you’ll end up chatting the whole night.” He was right. Neighbor also mentioned that if they weren’t “good people,” he wouldn’t have invited me. But he knew I’d like them since he and I get on so well. And of course, on our walk home, he looked at me and said, “See? What did I tell you? Good people.” We smiled at each other and just kept on walking.

3. He skis. I’m always looking for a ski buddy and after speaking about our various ski trips, Neighbor decided we’re just about the same ability and that we should hit the slopes together. Then last night, one of Neighbor’s friends mentioned going skiing as well, and we all agreed it would be fun. Just what I’m looking for.

4. He’s just so…kind. I could tell from Neighbor’s letter that he is kind, but that is more apparent the more we hangout. One of his friends told me last night that he and Neighbor had gone out for a drink last week and Neighbor mentioned me. He had told Friend that he wants to help me make some friends and get out more, so he was hoping I would come out this past weekend (which I did). I loved hearing that story and was glad that I chose to go out with all of them.

Neighbor has become a good friend already – which is exactly what the doctor ordered!