He's Just Not That Into You

Last night I watched the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. I had read the book a few years ago and to note, it’s found in the “self-help” section of the bookstore. The book also inspired an episode of Sex and the City. Being a girl, who has had more than several crushes, a few dates, and 2 boyfriends in her life, I loved the book and its’ brutal honesty. The entire book essentially is why we have brothers or close guy friends – so we can turn to said brother and close guy friend and pepper them with questions about Possible Future Husband #85948 and what PFH’s behavior and words mean. Because as us girls are well aware, we always say that PFH is definitely interested in our friend. Possibly because we all want to be in that situation. Where the guy likes you and wants to be with just you.

The movie is one big experiment of 6 degrees of separation. All the characters are intertwined somehow in one another’s lives. And each character is exploring what the behavior of the opposite sex is doing either in the relationship or out of it. Despite its’ famous actors, the movie is depressing. I suppose it’s depressing because it’s a bit more realistic than the romantic comedies we’re all used to watching. This movie features cheating husbands (with the wife desperately trying to save the marriage), guys who won’t marry even after being with the same woman for 7 years (so the gal breaks it off and is ridiculed by everyone), a seductress (who won’t stay away from the married man), a guy trying to be with a girl who only sees him when she needs it emotionally (so the guy throws himself at her as a final straw), etc. At the route of all these relationships presented is the idea that we are all the rule, not the exception. So the hope us girls feel when we hear that somehow it worked out with so-and-so does not mean it will actually happen to us. Similarly any grim urban legend will not happen to us. Thank goodness, as those creepy stories are really icky.

Out of the whole movie, my favorite characters are Gigi and Alex. Gigi is the hopeless romantic, just trying to meet Mr. Right. Alex comes along as the good guy, who explains why guys say they’ll call when they don’t, etc. As the movie strums along, Gigi falls for Alex and although he denies it, Alex falls for her. They are the pair that make the movie. And make single girls want that. Maybe guys do too, I can’t really speak for them. I only know a girl’s heart inside out.

The movie ends with the relationships either ending or at least resolving in some fashion, sometimes a happy one and sometimes not. If I must admit? I cried, ok?! And it also ends with this quote:

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”

Reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11 – “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

That certainly means hope in love for all of us. So until then Mr. Darcy…

Recipe for love

I was speaking to my aunt the other day and mentioned how as I grow older and remain single each day, I have a list of ideals that my future hubby "Nigel" will have. Nigel will of course be a Christian, make me laugh, be good-looking more because of his personality than his face, be social (but like to stay in and hangout with just me), be a total foodie like myself, love country music, be athletic, will share the love of traveling and England, come from old money and be independently wealthy, carry a tune/enjoy karaoke, love my family, ski, love to cook, and pretty much worship the ground I walk on. Of course I followed up my comment with the fact that once the real Nigel shows up, I will love him and none of the above may apply. And that's ok! I'll have Nigel.

My aunt merely replied, "that's good."

A few days after this conversation, once again I was speaking with my aunt (we do tend to talk almost everyday, or at least twice a week) and she told me about a little moment between her and my uncle. She told me that she was telling Unkie how she had decided to lose some weight and just be good about eating as she isn't happy with her weight right now. He looked at her and remarked how beautiful he thought she was and that he loved her. I might also add here that this is after 25 years of marriage. I think perhaps a few PG-13 things happened after that comment -- aka holding hands -- but if Nigel could still think I'm beautiful in 25 years, no matter how I might age, that would be perfect.

Practical Magic, by Alice Hoffman, is a novel that was adapted into a movie almost a decade ago. The story surrounds 2 sisters, who have a bit of witchcraft magic inside of them. The book was excellent, the movie changed the story completely, but one thing that did remain was the character Sally Owens' (played by Sandra Bullock) recipe for her perfect man. She included ideals such as he would have one blue eye and one green (or was it brown?) eye and that he could flip pancakes in the air while making them. Silly as it seemed when she was young, he came along and at just the right moment, fitting her recipe exactly.

Will Nigel actually be the man I have described above? Most likely not. However, he will love me, worship the ground I walk on, and still find me beautiful after 25 years, that I know.

So hurry up and get here, would you?

Searching for my own inner Julia

It all began with a friend telling me that she was listening to My Life in France, which is Julia Child's account of, well, her life in France. Basically she tells the story of meeting her husband Paul, how they ended up moving to France, how she began taking cooking lessons at Le Cordon Bleu, and then how she ended up creating and working on the famous Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I began to read it as well and quickly became hooked. Julia is a great narrator, with calling her cooking lessons "cookery teachery" and the whole cookbook project "cookery bookery," she has this ability to be so cute (despite the fact that she's like 9 feet tall).

At work in the city, everyone was nosy about what other people were reading. So of course, a friend noticed I was reading Julia Child's book and mentioned a book she had just finished reading called Julie and Julia. This book is about a 29-year-old woman, who is having a personal crisis approaching her 30th birthday. Half inspired by Child's famous cookbook and her husband's suggestions, Julie Powell devotes the next 365 days to cooking all of the recipes in MTAOFC, capturing all of her triumphs and frustrations in a blog. Within this year, she somehow finds herself, finds sanity, and accomplishes her goal, while also being on TV, in the NY Times, and landing a book deal and after, a movie deal starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. I picked up the book, only got about halfway through, and had to return it to the library. I recently just got it out from the library again and devoured it whole.

Yesterday, while perusing the "Buy 1, get 1 1/2 off" books at Border's, I noticed a book called The Sharper the Knife, the Less You Cry. Of course, it is a woman's account of how after losing her job in Corporate America, she cashes in her savings, moves to Paris to attend Le Cordon Bleu, and not only finds herself, she finds love.

OK.

I don't believe in signs. I believe in God and his plan for me. HOWEVER...I'm single, hating my job, and love to cook. Translation? Keep reading these books! I've been to Paris twice already, have no interest in learning French and meeting some French guy and having to stay over there? Aucun merci (French for 'no thanks'). I'm still counting on meeting my darling, fully British Nigel (who loves the States and whose parents still live in the UK) -- and Frenchy would just get in the way. I can live vicariously through others and cook here. Done and done.

And P.S. Does anyone know of any other books like these? Clearly I'm going through a phase...